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As you start thinking more seriously about life after high school, there’s one word that can be key to your future success: networking. At this point, the idea of networking might feel intimidating, confusing, or just plain awkward. Well, you’re not alone—even professionals can feel that way.

Networking’s ability to make some of us feel weird is an actual scientific phenomenon. Researchers at Harvard found that, unlike social connections that spring up naturally, networking to build professional relationships can actually make some people feel morally impure. They also found that when professionals felt weird about networking, they did it less and had poorer performance at the office, according to the findings published in Administrative Science Quarterly.

“The importance of networking on career success is undeniable,” says Dr. Maryam Kouchaki, assistant professor of management and organizations at Kellogg School of Management in Illinois and an author on the study. Some of the most successful people in the world have spoken openly about how networking and career mentors have helped them get to where they are. Lena Dunham credits writer Nora Ephron as an instrumental mentor in her career; Sheryl Sandberg (who’s now a major mentor herself) points to economist Larry Summers as a “champion” for her career; even Drake has a mentor—Lil Wayne.

To help you get over the ick factor, don’t think of networking as asking for inauthentic favors—instead, think of it as building authentic relationships. “People generally enjoy sharing their passion for their work and want to help future generations, as long as they have the time,” says LoriAnn Edinborough, director of employer relations at University of Notre Dame’s Career and Professional Development Center. “Think of networking as the sharing of information—it’s relationship building.”

Why networking is worthwhile

young people shaking hands

“Making short-term connections is important for learning about opportunities such as summer internships, part-time jobs, and volunteer opportunities,” says Sarah Coburn, a career counselor at Cypress College in California. It can also be helpful for figuring out those looming college and post-college plans. “From informational interviews, job shadows, and career mentors, students can learn valuable information about what someone likes about their role, what they aren’t as fond of, what they would do differently if they had the chance, what a ‘day-in-the-life’ is like, and their personal career path to get to that position,” says Edinborough.

An important note for the future: Up to 85 percent of all professional jobs are filled via networking, according to a 2016 survey by LinkedIn.

Student perspective
“I have networked with people who have attended or currently attend the college I would like to go to. Talking about what interests me and what I am passionate about really helped, especially when it was similar to what that person does. I did follow up by sending an email the next day, saying thank you for their time and that I appreciated that they talked to me.”
—Maggie, senior, Houston, Texas

Networking your way to an awesome mentor

Beyond making quick connections that could lead to an interview or meeting someone who can help you improve your résumé, networking can lead to long-term mentors. What may start out as a coffee with an alum or a request for an informational interview can turn into an authentic connection that will be the Lil Wayne to your Drake throughout your career.

“A career mentor can be a trusted adviser to bounce ideas off of, to share timely advice, ​to make other introductions, and to help you talk through career-related decisions,” says Edinborough. “These are the people who will be there for support during your college years, as well as when you start as a new professional in the field after you graduate,” adds Sarah Coburn.

To help you network in a more meaningful and authentic way that’ll build those important relationships, follow these tips.

To get started...

“Most people don’t realize how many people they have in their network,” Edinborough says. Step one: Look at the people you already have at your fingertips—namely your teachers and counselors, parents, and local professionals. “High school students can start networking early by volunteering in their areas of interest, within their community, and at their school,” says Coburn.

  • Connect with your teachers and counselors to look for volunteer opportunities. “This is a great way to meet students and professionals that share your common interests and learn about career pathways to research for your college applications and beyond high school,” says Coburn.
  • Connect with family and friends on LinkedIn. “From there, your network can expand and grow,” she says.
  • “Network in your community by volunteering at events that interest you and researching professional conferences in your area,” says Coburn. “They are always looking for student volunteers!”

To introduce yourself…

The intro is often the hardest part of networking. Walking up to a stranger at an event can be super intimidating (even for long-time professionals) and figuring out what to say when you send a cold email can be tricky.

“A great way to start a connection is to request an ‘informational interview,’” says Coburn. “This is where you meet with a professional that is working in your field of interest, and you ask them questions about their career path and how they got to the position they are in now—it’s a no-pressure way of meeting someone and getting to know a little bit about them.”

Whether in person or via email, keep your intro when asking for an informational interview “short, simple, and to the point,” advises Edinborough. If you’re reaching out through LinkedIn, the platform caps InMail messages at 2,000 characters, though longer isn’t necessarily better, in this case.

Via email or LinkedIn message

closeup of group holding mobile devices

  • Paragraph #1: Introduce yourself, tell them what you’re interested in studying, and why you’re interested in connecting, says Edinborough. Also include how you found the person’s contact information.
  • Paragraph #2: “Ask if they would be available for a 15-minute phone call or coffee to talk, and include a question or two you would like to ask,” says Edinborough.
  • Paragraph #3: Offer several possible times to meet or, if you’re planning to visit, give the dates of when you will be in town and available. Then, “close with a statement recognizing they are busy and you appreciate their consideration,” adds Edinborough.

To keep it from feeling like you’re just filling out a form, think about why you’re really interested in this person or career path, and use that to help you write an authentic email.

If you’ve emailed a potential mentor and they haven’t gotten back to you, Coburn recommends following up with another note after two weeks. “Sometimes professionals get very busy with [their] many priorities, so a reminder can be appreciated,” she says. In a polite note, ask if they received your message and reiterate that you would love to connect and appreciate their time.

Remember, most people like to help students when they can. The worst thing that can happen is that you don’t get a response.

In person

Besides finding people to connect with online, you might also be meeting connections in person at school events, at volunteer groups or internships, or at community organizations. “Having a 60-second ‘elevator pitch’ is great to have prepared for those in-person conversation starters,” says Coburn.

Here’s what an elevator pitch might look like

  • Step 1: Talk about the past. “What is your experience, what made you want to pursue this professional field, etc.,” says Coburn.
  • Step 2: Get to the present. Tell your new connection what you’re currently studying and working on in school.
  • Step 3: Approach the future. Describe your future career interests, goals, and the types of opportunities you’re looking for to help you achieve them, Coburn says.

To make the most authentic connection…

The best thing you can do is try your best to just be yourself, says Coburn. “Approach networking by utilizing your natural strengths and preferences,” she says. Ask yourself: Am I more comfortable talking to a lot of people and “networking the room,” or talking to someone one-on-one in a quieter setting? “Either approach to networking is great,” says Coburn. “As long as you’re being your authentic self and trying to make meaningful connections with others, you’re doing a good job at networking.”

young professionals shaking hands

  • Find common ground. “You can start with a question for them to find the commonality between the two of you (or group) and then share something about yourself to keep the connection going,” Coburn says. “Once you open up this conversation, you will authentically be interested in learning more about them.” Ex: “How did you get involved with this group/organization?” Or “What did you think of the speaker’s comments about XYZ?”
  • Plan ahead. “Research your contact and understand as much as you can about what they do so they realize you have put some time into this connection,” says Edinborough.
  • Set a goal for your meeting. If you’re meeting with someone one-on-one for an informational interview, Edinborough suggests writing down your questions ahead of time. Having notes you can refer to helps ensure you get the most out of your time
  • Be professional and respectful. To create a more authentic and lasting connection, always be respectful of the professional’s time. Show up early, turn off your phone, give the person 100 percent of your attention, and “always follow up with a thank-you,” says Edinborough.
  • Provide a copy of your résumé. Leave your networking contact a copy of your résumé or attach it in your thank-you email. Ask them to keep you in mind if anything comes up, such as an internship or job opportunity in your field of interest.

Student perspective
“I started off knowing what questions I really wanted answers for but kept an ear out for anything that sounded interesting and useful. A real challenge for me is speaking to people, but it went well enough, and I got a lot of answers and met some interesting people along the way. I actually work with a few of them now through internships.”
—James, junior, Bartlett, Tennessee  

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To follow up...

There’s an art to the follow-up. “You don’t want to be a pest, yet you want to stay in contact,” says Edinborough. Here’s how to go about it.

“I would recommend connecting with your mentor or colleague at least once a semester,” Coburn says. When you reach out, have a reason or something to share, such as:

  • You saw an article about the person’s company or industry and found it interesting.
  • You received an award at school or landed a new internship or volunteer position and wanted to let them know.
  • You have a specific question and you’d like their input, such as asking their advice about potential summer internships or the college you hope to attend.

“You can also try to set up a meeting to connect in person or recommend an upcoming professional event that you can both attend together,” says Coburn. Following up can be the nudge it takes to turn a one-time meeting into your long-term mentor.

No matter how you feel about networking, it’s pretty clear that it’s here to stay. With the right approach, it can feel much less like the uncomfortable work of asking for a job and much more like an authentic and satisfying opportunity to build real connections that’ll last your whole career.

Student review: Shapr by Shapr

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LilianLillian, Los Altos Hills, California


“Have you ever heard the same advice from your teachers, peers, alumni, or parents about how important making connections is? As a complete newbie at networking, I always wondered how in the world I find the right people without seeming like a total stalker. I was sending desperate emails to random professionals who could be my mentor until I learned about Shapr, an app that lets you find people within your field of interest with a few swipes. (If LinkedIn and Tinder got married, Shapr would definitely be their child.) All you do is create a short bio on yourself, include what/who you’re looking for, and add any relevant websites, social media, or your LinkedIn page to your profile. Then you’re matched with potential candidates who could be your future employer, mentor, or even a like-minded peer to discuss projects with.”

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Must I always view the people around me as a stepping stone in my academic/career life? Shapr takes the pressure off and gives me one less headache to deal with.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Finding people who can work with you can take time, but when it’s done Tinder-style, it’s easy to just swipe left and right.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
What sounds better? Writing 10 email requests to meet up or sacrificing a minute to view a list of 15–20 possible candidates on an app? (I’m definitely going with the latter.)

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Article sources

Sarah Coburn, MS, career counselor at Cypress College in California.

LoriAnn Edinborough, director of employer relations at Notre Dame University in Indiana.

Maryam Kouchaki, PhD, assistant professor of management and organizations at Kellogg School of Management in Illinois.

Adler, L. (February 29, 2016). New survey reveals 85 percent of all jobs are filled via networking. Retrieved from

Casciaro, T., Gino, F., & Kouchaki, M. (2014). The contaminating effects of building instrumental ties: How networking can make us feel dirty. Administrative Science Quarterly, 59(4), 705–735. doi: 10.1177/0001839214554990

Casciaro, T., Gino, F., & Kouchaki, M. (May 2016). Learn to love networking. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from

Dunham, L. (June 28, 2012). Seeing Nora everywhere. New Yorker. Retrieved from

LinkedIn. (2017). InMail character limits. Recruiter help. Retrieved from

Reid, S. (May 31, 2009). Drake feels “blessed” to have Lil Wayne as a mentor. MTV News. Retrieved from

Sandberg, S. (May 25, 2011). Larry Summers’ true record on women. Huffington Post. Retrieved from